RICS international conference

i've nothing to say but they are just too great, their performance is too awesome which i think i couldn't reach their level so ever. Their intelligence, psychological, confidence, knowledge and everything, everything is better than me. i started to worry about my future, i don't want to be an ordinary person which graduate without any outstanding skills or finish my study just like a student responsible, i don't want like this, i want make some memorable and valuable memories in my school time.

The Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyor (RICS) international surveying conference really gives a big consciousness toward my life. Previously, i was just like staying in a small world with small happiness, nothing special, not outstanding. The first time i went to USM Penang, their university size, of cause, much bigger than ours. The RICS conference gathered up few other universities from local uni and some foreign uni. At very first, i wonder to take this trip as a relaxation trip, go there for playing purpose. So did i do in the first day. Exploring games and watching performance from each uni representors.

I watched the people to present their fyp workdone at second day. i watched four candidates give their talk. The UM representative and Hong Kong's Chen Ma really did give a deep impression to me. They did very very well without any afraid. And of cause, finally, they get awarded as best presentor and best journal respectively.

When i looking them go up stage to receive their award, i'm thinking about myself, what i am?! supporting role in beside?! i don't want, i don't like this, i got my wild ambition. My friend advised me, 人比人,气死人. i totally disagree with him, for me, if healthy competition, it is beneficial. But the problem is, my persistence to make change, it's so tough mission.

Anyway, RICS international conference really give me a valuable class toward my life. RM76 is so worth to it. I would join this kind of conference again if i got the chance.

现实世界

在这现实世界里，笑面迎人这招已不管用，换来的只是被欺负。就算对方是朋友，结果还是一样，被欺负。

一次是开玩笑，第二次还是当你开玩笑，第三次了还毫不客气地拒绝，好，没关系，我自己会看着办了。我自问朋友有难时，我会尽我所能地协助；不过，当我需要帮忙时，向“人”再三求助时，被拒绝时，我心冷了，我真的觉得很心淡。一个这样的朋友，留着还有意义吗？！我倒不觉得。。反正以我与您的角色，大家都会觉得您是对的，我总是吊儿郎当的，您是应该的，我是活该的。那话儿更是没门了~

既然是酱，就当个Hi-Bye朋友算了，大家没事时可以一起吹水，有事时就自己帮自己吧。路人朋友，就酱产生了。

sienz..

The day is still young, my mom is called me, chat about some trifling thingy, not long, just for few minutes. A niece is gonna start her life journey soon, she is very lucky, because my sister is really a good person.

Overall, today is a gloomy day, did some stupid mistake in midterm test, injured during basketball, couldn't achieve what i planned to do, disappointed to somethings...Blacky Friday.

Of cause, soon afterward, mood getting down, emo-ing. Wish everything will goes well after this. Happy will go Lucky? hmmms..

生病篇...

生病了。
这三天里，只吃了半包的叉烧饭，一包猪肠粉，及一杯美禄。
好难受，都没胃口的，看到食物就想呕了。
不知道为什么~
有的说我肠胃有细菌了，有的说我吃坏肚子了，有的说我得了厌食症，我也不知道。
这就好像十年前，那场大病，熬恶了我整整一个月有余，
不过，现在不同的是，
这才是第三天的开始，还有的好受。
上次，还有家人的关怀，我感受得到；
这次，没让家人知道了，因为即使他们知道了，就只会添加他们的担忧，没多。
昨晚，我妈打来给我了，问我的近况，
我什么都没告诉她，只是说了，“都很好”。

身体一天比一天的弱了，就连打球时也有很明显的差距，
手脚乏力，提不起劲，像个活死人似的。
（虽然如此，还是很享受打球的。）

下星期，应该会是一个很忙碌的星期吧；
一个Presentation,一个Tutorial,和一份Assignment，而UTAR model又要开工了，
三个字~完蛋了~

Heck~

Oh My Guanyin, i am became more lazy and stupid. A day started with hopes, but end up with dreams, it's daydream! I was thought i able to drive my mood mode but unfortunately, the mood control my mind. When i told my brain i need to study, i have to study, but my mind rebel my intention, at the end, this encouraged me to watch movies and playing sports. Oh-ya, daydream as well.

Less than a week, the war is start, no mercy, no lenience, no change, the war is still the war. Continuously for 5 days. Okay, just accept it; but i just cannot accept my attitude of study, slacking, didn't take serious, bull-shit etc.. Didn't care a responsible which a student ought to bear.

After read my notes, i only realized how serious my stupid-ness disease. I could not understand the notes. What the Heck!! Coursework marks so low and yet, not ready for war, a soldier like me, usually, is just an imbecile which can only waiting for death.

A promptly action is better than a thousand of words. So, wish everyone best luck in exams and get g00d result. =)

无聊着.

好无聊,闷着闷着的,加上一些伤感的曲子,头脑又开始胡思乱想了,回忆着一些我一直躲避,不想去想的回忆.虽说是美坏参半的回忆,不过如果可以让我选的话,我想按一按delete键,删了,留下我想被存留的回忆就好了.我曾经读过一本书,英语书,里头有一句最令我印象深刻的, "live in a world of memories, first, u cannot have a fragile heart." .很有意思的一句话,也说得很对的. 我不想活在回忆世界里,因为我知道我没有一颗坚强的心.美好的回忆人人都想要,但最悲伤的往往跟最美好的有联系,惨.

我没喜欢过自己的角色,不过这就是我,好的也是我,不好的也是我,我就是我,不会变.

。人生大道理。

人生大道理来了呗~

最近,我又学会了一点,不再轻易相信别人,包括朋友。不是我心机重,更不是自我中心主义,而是,我确实感觉我被朋友出卖了。我最痛恨的感觉。一直以来,我都选择了笑面迎人,因为我知道,一旦把事情搞僵了,日后相处难;更相信只要对别人好,别人就会投桃报李。不过,我万万没想到,这样的我,被出卖了。

在我的世界里,灰色是存在的,黑可以变白,白也可以变黑,没有永远的黑与白。好人也会做错事,坏人也会做好事,哪怕就只是那么一件。我不能说我是一个好人,确实,我不是,但比起那些笑里藏刀的,在你背后捅你一刀的,我会感到自豪。

事情已经发生了,就很难回头,即使表面当无一事,可是心里还是会有一根刺。我对残酷的事实,会感到胆懦,也会想逃避,不过事件不会因而解决。

曾经,我真的想过报复,双倍奉还;可但是,最后我打消了这念头,因为我不是清朝有仇必报的时代了,报复只是一种损人不利己的愚蠢行动。(这句很虚伪,我也酱觉得,不过却很真实)

古人有云:争执乃是过云雨，永远的明天会更好。

烦烦烦！！！

好久没写blog了,自从上次慢慢对blog没兴趣了,
可能是因为忙的关系吧,还是懒惰的理由。

最近越来越烦,不知道为什么自己变得那么懒散,
做事总是提不起经来,得过且过。
Assigments是酱，读书是酱，做人也是酱。
都已经week 10了，总觉得我没学到东西，还是学的不够多，常识更不用说了。
好恼怒！！！

明显的，最近用钱也特别多了，完全不受控制，变得好像个败家子似的。
我不想酱的，可是就有时不受控制，魔鬼缠身。
接下来还有一个site visit，在tambun，
看来也会花一笔钱了。haiz..

还剩两份Assignments和两个tests了，不过，过完这星期就会比较轻松了吧。
真希望快点儿过完这漫长的学期，因为每个新的学期，都是我的新希望。哈哈

lose 3 friends, but i'm happy.

Story began with a very cloudy day, as usual, switch on my pc and login to my favourite page, facebook. trying to reply every single notifications. Along with these, i'm also gave some rsvp to others' status. How nice, suddenly a friend nudged me at msn and warned me from not comment on a girl's profile. i was stunned. I tried hardly to get back my mind, what comment i dropped on the girl profile? i checked at the girl's profile and i found that, it's just a very simple and meaningles comment. Woots, such a simple and meaningless comment can make the friend started to hate me, how powerful is it.

Ok, it's ok, since he started to hate me because of so simple case, no point of friend. Therefore, i removed him from facebook friendlist. As well as another two girls. And, my action blamed by the guy, he said me very "small-gas". Oh well, almost i forgot im so "small-gas". But what use if i remain them in my friend list and can't comment, or can't even chat. Luckily he is just a maple friend of me, at least, no need to face him in real life.

One guy and two girls. The girl-A, i don't know her as well, she added me in facebook and i know she was a Mapler. Nothing much. She was the boy's real life friend, and also the girl i drop my comment to. Since i don't know her well and the boy kept stop me from comment on her profile, then i removed her, nothing to lose also.

Girl-B, this is even worse. And i really treat her as a very good online friend, i'd share my life thingy with her. Today, finally i realize, everything is fake scenery, friendly in front of me and critic badly behind me. Anyway, now i realized, im such annoying.

Great Job, delete, delete, and delete.

Study Mood

At last, i finished 2 exam papers, quite satisfied to my "off-the-cuff" performance. As for coursework marks, so far, i only not pleased to Management Principle subject, because it is really out of my expectation. Overall, i still managed to grab more than 30marks. =)

However, coursework marks just a minor part to determine my final grade, the final exam still the main domination to final grade. Unfortunately, when the exam is coming, my study mood started to disobedient, rebel against my intention. No medicine can cure this kind of disease, no proper way to cope with disobedient mood.

Sometimes, i think very hard, why i couldn't manage to control my study mood? Think and think and think...When i saw people study hard, and myself relax all the time, i do not feel any anxiety or stress, why? Agains, think and think and think...When i review back my results, not so good, but why i still not try to catch up? Continue think and think and think...

Finally, here i get the results. First, partner. I don have a great partner to accompany me study hard. seriously i don't like study alone, this make me felt study is boring and not interesting. When i study, i wish people to motivate me by action. When i started to go out of direction, partner will save me. Another, i can't study at home. Too many sources can influence me, easily. Look at computer, hand start to itchy and heart fly to internet world unconciously. Look to my bed, my mind would tell me, take a rest 1st, everything will be better. This kind of thinking always make me relax and study not energetically.

Anyway, i know these are not the best excuses to blame to, but i believe, if i can go through the problems, i can get back my study mood. Two subjects to go, hope i manage to control my study mood well and evocation of it can save me from hell. Good luck to everyone.